Sunday, June 19, 2016 ' 9:34 PM
Today, 19 June 2016, I felt really upset and unloved by an important person in my life. He once made me feel sooooo loved & important. But now, whatever words I said became biased comments and no longer hold anymore weight.
I should be a happy mum to be in less than 3 months' time. But why am I so unhappy and crying so badly at this moment feeling that anytime I may lose a relationship, a Husband whom I pledged to stay committed to for the rest of my life, a daddy to be for my baby. 真的是我太自私了吗？真的是我太无理取闹了吗？真的是我在你生命中再也不是那么重要了吗？
In the past, maybe you have given in too much to me, stood by my side too much... And because of that, I feel so loved and protected by you. Knowing that u will always protect & understand me. That is why I chose to give my whole life to you. But today, you make me realised that actually all these while u have been "tolerating" me and u have decided not to protect me against any 委屈 that I angling through. Is sooooooo hurtful to hear u say this to me "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS PUSHING ME TO ONE CORNER? Do u see me pushing you to one corner?" My heart breaks totally..
I feel very upset that I can no longer be like myself infront of you. Say whatever I am feeling/ thinking. I have to bear all the unhappiness and sadness by myself or by telling others when you should be the one closest to me.
You once were someone whom I will turn to whenever I am unhappy. You once were the one whom I will say anything and everything under the sun. You once were the one whom I feel so comfortable talking to for hours. You once were the one whom I felt soooo close to. You once made me feel that there is still someone who will keep his promises and fulfil it. You once made me trust you so much and never fail to deliver what you promised me. You once were the one whom I feel so lucky to be loved by your unconditional love.... Now when you don't deliver what you promised, you said I m pushing you to one corner?? Have you forgotten so many things you said to me when trying to comfort me during quarrels?? All those words and promises are said to 安抚我而已吗？ Why am I so stupid to believe and trusted that you definitely will take those promises and words seriously. In the end, I am the silly & foolish one feeling cheated.
Once upon a time........ 都讲是ONCE! 从前！ 再也不肯能回到从前的了。 因为我在你心里的地位已近不如往日。💔💔💔
为什么一边写着，眼泪会一边一直在飘落。心好酸酸的痛着。
学着看开一点才会让自己好过一些。 不在乎天长地久，曾经拥有过就因该感到满足了。 the only thing I can do now is to 做个坚强一点的妈妈，自己照顾自己。让自己开心点，为了孩子不能再这样流眼泪了。
Mummy 加油加油再加油，除了加油还是再加油！就算有一天我被逼的要自己和孩子生活，我会更加的努力！
